The Snyder Cut

#DeReleaseTheSnyderCut  

Undo it. Have The Flash run faster than light to wind it back into the past.

It's a bad film, it's an egregious bad film. At every point it chooses pomposity over fun, the pose over meaning, the action-figure over character. It's tortoise-slow, sewage-coloured, masculinist (Wonder Woman diminished further from her earlier near-nothing) arthritic bollocks. It's a film that offers its central insight on a golden platter for the audience to admire: THE TEAM IS STRONGER THAN THE INDIVIDUAL. Only in as pathologically individualist a culture as the US could this pass for Great Wisdom.

Ben Affleck is a handsome bloke, and has assiduously beefed-up for this role. But his charismalessness is painful to watch. That man is natman batman. 

Henry Cavill's Cancelled Moustache would have been a better Superman.

The Flash is ... well: his fundamental conceit is just silly.

Wonder Woman was sidelined in the original Justice League flick but she did get a couple of sparky dialogue scenes. Not here. Now she's just a red leather corset and a short skirt.

Cyborg has a ploddingly set-up, allegedly poignant family context that is as unconvincing as it is dull.

Aquaman doesn't fit at all. His character belongs to a kitsch nonsense-fantasy of briny fish-prince royalty. In this film he's just a shirtless over-buffed dude holding a big fork who sometimes gets into a rumble.

The villains are sub-Panto. Steppenwolf is less born to be wild, more bored to be bad-guy, lurching around in a suit of armour made from a thousand metal strips that looks like John Lewis silvered wrapping paper. Darkseid is slightly taller than Steppenwolf and has glow-y eyes. The army of flying minions are about as scary as a bunch of daddy-long-legses.

In sum: it's a turd. Zack Snyder's Justice Log.