Unicorn vol., unicorn vol.,
Tales of the horse with the forehead-pole:
What's it like? It's not important
Unicorn vol.
Is it a horse, or is it a trope?
Is it just money for old rope?
Or does the rope get us instead?
Nobody knows, Unicorn vol.
Virginal lass, Virginal lass
Virginal lass lures unicorn horse
They have a fight, Virgin-girl wins
Virginal lass.
[Accordion solo]
Similar tales, similar tales
Lots of really quite samey tales
Most are OK, a couple are not
Similar tales:
They've got a horse with an ivory horn,
Narwhal horn and a dildo horn*
(Should you fancy some uniporn)
Slightly odd, unicorn tale.
Is't a success or is it a mess?
Does it feel totally worthless?
Who pitched the idea to the press?
Nobody knows, Unicorn vol.
Virginal lass, Virginal lass
Virginal lass lures unicorn horse
They have a fight, Virgin-girl wins
Virgin-lass.
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*‘“Anyhow,” she went on, “the ivory horn was carved into the shape of a penis by the king's most skilled artisans. The result was so revered it was even placed in Solomon's temple, alongside the Ark of the Covenant.” ... she was wearing [it], fitted into a leather harness strapped about her hips ...“I'm going to give you a gift, Nat. The most exquisite gift in all creation. You want to know what the unicorn does. Well, I'm not going to tell you. I'm going to show you.” ... She mounted me, and I didn't argue.’ [113-20]
Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI suspect the thinking went, hey, Peter S. Beagle wrote a popular book with "unicorn" in the title! We can totally shift some units if we can get his name prominently on the cover of another book with "unicorn" in the title!
ReplyDeleteThis was delightful.
ReplyDelete